Waiting on the LORD: Why dating IS waiting

"I'm not going to date. I'm just going to wait on God."

I used to tell everybody this. I used to believe that dating was the opposite of waiting on God. Now, I have a different perspective.


I've grown up in church. I got the idea that if you want a mate, you just wait (if you're a girl) and one day, a sanctified prince charming would notice you from across the aisle and boom marriage. Or better yet, a young, out-of-town guest minister would notice my holy radiance from the pulpit, and just know deep down in his spirit that I was the one for him. He would see the holy halo of purity radiating from my heart and head, and just know I was the Proverbs 31 woman he'd been praying for his whole life. Have you been taught a similar "minister from out of town story?" I know a few people from different walks of life who were taught slight variations on the EXACT same story.

The idea is that you, as a Christian girl, DON'T DO ANYTHING. Just go to church, work, school, home etc. Then, it would come naturally, because he who finds a wife finds a good thing. So don't try to be found, don't try to look. Just sit and look meek, humble, and holy. Don't go on the internet dating sites. That's "helping God out." You don't want to do that. Don't start a conversation with a guy. That's "pursuing him." You don't want that, either. Just "Wait on the Lord and be of good courage...." or another scripture about waiting on God. And dating is leaning on your own understanding, and not waiting on God.

Here's what I'm thinking. Dating IS waiting. Just because you accept a coffee or dinner date with a guy doesn't mean you aren't waiting on God. You are; you are waiting to see if he's a compatible man of character and personality. There's nothing that you can do to bring that person in your life. The only thing you can do is get in position to receive it. You don't know where it's coming from: it COULD be church, but it could also be a dating site. It could be from a guy in traffic. It could be from a guy at Aldi, a football game, a car wash, pep rally, rest stop, sci-fi convention, zoo, gym, spelling bee, bowling alley, Farmer's Market, aquarium, gas station, ANYWHERE. It could be a cousin of a friend. It could be friend of a cousin. Keep your options open. Open your options! It's like a game of baseball. If you want to catch the ball in the outfield, you gotta keep your head up, look around the field and be mobile. It's okay to go places, smile, be friendly, strike up a conversation with a guy.

If you go on a dating site, you're still waiting on God. If that is the means that God uses to bring love into your life, you still have to wait for Him to make that happen. You're putting your profile on there so that dream guy can find you. If you're single, and praying for a mate, you can have 8 dates a week with 8 different guys and you are still waiting. You don't know which or if it's one of the 8. I'm exaggerating a bit with the numbers, but point is, if you are prayerfully seeking God about your mate, then dating is waiting. You are waiting on God to prosper your love life.

I'm not talking about taking action because "God is taking too long." I'm talking about taking action because you know that God has great plans (Jeremiah 29:11) for you, and this great plan might involve you stepping up and taking action. Ruth, from the book of Ruth in the Bible, stepped up and took action so that she could walk in her destiny. Ruth probably would have stayed gleaning the fields, being a glorified beggar. God set her up and blessed her with favor, but the difference between Ruth the beggar widow and Ruth the wealthy wife was the bold, faith filled ACTION that she took. (Read the story. It's in the Bible. )

If you want to get a job, you send out resumes. No one considers that not waiting on God to get a job. If you want God to bless you with a job, you pray, put out resumes, check classifieds, all that stuff. And when you get a job, you say: "Thank you Jesus for blessing me with a job!" (At least, that's what I say. :) Nobody considers sending resumes and answering classified ads as "helping God out." God IS the Source regardless of how it comes to pass.

Think about what I'm saying. Pray about it.I did the whole "I'm going to wait and not date" thing for years. It wasn't because I felt God wanted me to. It was because that's what everybody told me God wanted me to do. There's a big difference between the two. I don't think there's one exact plan for everybody. But if you have been REFUSING to do anything, you might want to think and pray about changing that game plan. We serve a very creative God. Allow Him some freedom creativity in writing your love story. :)

Love,
RDH

For a really great article on waiting on God, check out: http://bible.org/article/waiting-lord

Psalm 27:14 Wait on the LORD...
They that wait on the LORD shall renew their strength....Isaiah 41:
Psalm 37:9For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.
Psalm 130:5 I rely on the Lord, I rely on him with my whole being; I wait for his assuring word. 6 I yearn for the Lord, more than watchmen do for the morning, yes, more than watchmen do for the morning.

For a really great article on waiting on God, check out: http://bible.org/article/waiting-lord