Are you praying the wrong prayer?

If you do what you've what always done, you'll get what you always got.

Should you be praying for your mate? Most definitely. Like I've said before, prayer is only part of the equation, so let's discuss the prayer aspect.

For example...The common prayer is "Lord, send me a husband." That's what I prayed. It can be more elaborate, and filled with more adjectives: "Lord, send me a tall, nice, rich, saved, fun, kind, etc. but the prayer remains the same. I imagine that's the same prayers many single people are praying the world over.

How's that working out? If you've been praying the same prayer for years and years and to no avail, maybe it's time to try something new.

Pray a new prayer, and try something new. We'll get to the "try something new" part later. But for now, let's start with the prayer.

How do people get married? If movies are any indication, this is how it works:
1. boy meets girl
2.boy gets girl
3.boy asks girls to marry him
4. girl says yes
5. happily ever after

So for the sake of argument, let's just say that this is how it works. What step are having problems with? Are you having a problem meeting guys? I know many a Christian girl say, "There just aren't any guys in my church that I like." or "There aren't any guys," or "There are a couple of guys at my church that I might be interested in, but they never talk to me." If you aren't meeting any guys, then that's a step 1 problem. You aren't meeting any new guys. Since it's very likely that the man you will marry will be a new guy, your whole "happily ever after" begins with you meeting a new guy. We keep praying for the step 5. Prayer wise, we totally ignore the whole process that gets us to step 5. So let's start with step 1.



Instead of "Lord, send my husband," why not start praying, "Lord, help me to meet new guys. Show me how to interact with new guys in ways that please you, show me how to be more appealing to the opposite sex. Show me how to be more social, friendly, and attractive."

Show me how to be more appealing and attractive? Yep. Guys, especially Christian guys, want a attractive girl. What "attractive" means is different for every guy, but it certainly won't hurt you to look and act more appealing. I'm not talking about being fake or ditzy; I'm simply talking about being a better looking and more appealing you. Even if you do somehow find yourself in a hot, single, saved guys convention, if they don't find you appealing, then no step 5 for you.

But if, you are being the most genuine, social, appealing, attractive self that you can be, then the guys you meet will be attracted to you. If they are attracted to you....Well, you get the idea.


Are you comfortable around guys? Can you hold, or better yet start, a conversation with a guy? Are you afraid of them? If you're afraid or uncomfortable, then there's another prayer you should be praying. There's this girl I know that goes to a church far from where I am. Far, far away. Anyway, this girl who's 23, that I know had a crush on a 24 year-old guy in her church. I asked her if she'd ever talked to him.

"Me? Talk to him? No way! What would I even say?" She said sheepishly.

"Didn't you go to the same college? He knows who you are, right?"

"Yeah, he does, but still. I just don't know what I'd say!"

"So talk to him once."

"I can't. You just don't understand!"

"What are you afraid of?"

"I dunno. I really don't know," she admitted.

My dear sister and friend is too paralyzed by a fear that she can't name to even talk to a Christian guy, a Christian guy who, by all accounts was friendly. A guy she went to college with! She's afraid, and doesn't even know why she's afraid. This fear definitely stands in the way of her step 1. God hasn't given her a spirit of fear, but of love power, and a sound mind. (2 Tim. 1:7) Her prayer then, should be: "Lord, help me to not be afraid. Lord, deliver me from my fear of hot guys."

But if, you are being the most genuine, social, appealing, attractive self that you can be, then the guys you meet will be attracted to you. If they are attracted to you....Well, you get the idea.

So, start with a step 1 prayer. What's the worse that could happen?

I'm encouraging you!

Some one asked me, "What are you trying to do with your blog? Are you trying to discourage people?"

No, not at all. On the contrary!

I'm encouraging you! That's what this blog is all about, encouraging you try something new in your love life.

Yes, I talk about stats and facts that appear discouraging. I'm telling you this because there are roadblocks that stand in your path to relationships/marriage. These are roadblocks that maybe your pastor, parent, other leader probably aren't even aware of. I'm telling you about these roadblocks so that you can overcome them. You have to know your enemy in order to defeat your enemy. You have to hope against hope. You have to know what you're up against in order to stage the best offensive attack that you can.

This battle is spiritual and physical. I'm telling you what you're up against so you wage a better spiritual battle! I'm saying all of these things so that you, like Abraham, can hope against hope. (Hebrews 11) You've got to be like a spiritual ninja. The Word is your sword that you have got to use to slice up the lies of the enemy.

I'm helping you be aware of hindrances so that you can avoid them in Jesus' name. That's my goal.

I'm encouraging you to go forth, like Ruth.
I'm encouraging you to take bold, faith-filled steps in the direction of relationships.
I'm encouraging you analyze your particular and unique dating situation.
I'm encouraging you to let go of erroneous teachings (from man) and cling to God's truth.
I'm encouraging you to get intentional about your dating/love life.
I'm encouraging you to be strong.
I'm encouraging you to trust God in ways that maybe you haven't considered.
I'm encouraging you to take action.
I'm encouraging you to believe God like you've never believed before.

You're more than a conqueror,
RDH